you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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