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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  who is this?

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  you don't go into accounting for the pussy....

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.

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