But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
