so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
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you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.