Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  In the future we'll all be gay

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  (586): In the future we'll all be gay http://tfl.nu/j6qt
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (841)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He felt like a one man threesome

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  (303): He felt like a one man threesome http://tfl.nu/1ehs
  Replies (17) Good night (9074) Bad night (921)
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  (559): View more from California

  Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.

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  (559): Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face. http://tfl.nu/m55d
  Replies (14) Good night (3094) Bad night (1484)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.

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  (513): I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud. http://tfl.nu/lhri
  Replies (10) Good night (1238) Bad night (1628)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt

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  (413): i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt http://tfl.nu/1w7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1510) Bad night (622)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?

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  (214): How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink? http://tfl.nu/kd28
  Replies (11) Good night (2628) Bad night (517)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.

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  (330): He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me. http://tfl.nu/bsc2
  Replies (13) Good night (2087) Bad night (542)
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  (510): View more from California

  can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night

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  (510): can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night http://tfl.nu/2hja
  Replies (6) Good night (774) Bad night (431)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.

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  (516): You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off. http://tfl.nu/6qfp
  Replies (7) Good night (1598) Bad night (497)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  ...

  (281): View more from Texas

  Exactly.

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  (281): She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick... (832): ... (281): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/w9ox
  Replies (9) Good night (665) Bad night (1585)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.

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  (206): Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night. (1-206): That is the scariest sentence I have ever read. http://tfl.nu/zqtn
  Replies (6) Good night (1579) Bad night (325)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE

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  (206): GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE http://tfl.nu/q0s7
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (140)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.

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  (813): She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex. http://tfl.nu/7srs
  Replies (9) Good night (715) Bad night (158)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.

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  (810): in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure. http://tfl.nu/xpih
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (300)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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  (206): No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you. http://tfl.nu/9dg7
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (181)

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