I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
