I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
