Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
