I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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