Me too!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
