Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
