rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
