marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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