My hand turned me down
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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