mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
