Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
