its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
