There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize