ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
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No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
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Boobs are out for the taking
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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