david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
