you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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