i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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