How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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