How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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