And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize