So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
