hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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