How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
time to smoke my breakfast
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
