Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
