I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
