i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
