Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
