Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
