census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
