You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
