So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
