I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Holy shit dude........stairs
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
