I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
