I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
someone owes me an orgasm
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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