One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize