Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
