I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
