i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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