A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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