Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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