I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
