I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
