my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
