we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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