i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
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Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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