Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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