scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am mentally ready for anal.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
