I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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