there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
