I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
