its not stalking. its research.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
