Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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