Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
